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On male sexual issues and love and warmth

There are many men today who feel exceedingly inadequate as a male because of having a small penis and who are afraid of being exposed as being less than other males because their penis is less than average size. Théun Mares gives his perspective on this, and other questions.

 

We each choose the bodies we NEED in order to LEARN whatever it is we NEED to learn, in the same way that we choose our parents, our culture, our race, in short, our EVERY-THING! We choose our FATE so that we may unfold our DESTINY as magical beings of this universe! But should this then be a reason to feel ashamed of our fate? On the one hand, yes; on the other hand, no!

 

What causes the sense of shame is NOT our fate as such, but rather the inner war that occurs between the heart and the mind, the inner war that occurs because of the heart KNOWING that the mind lacks the necessary humility to accept, to EMBRACE what is our fate! So instead of trying to acquire the necessary humility we try to hide the VERY thing that is there to teach us humility, and thus the sense of shame.

 

Having said this, I am NOT in ANY way saying that these people have been struggling with this challenge ONLY because they lack humility! No! Instead I am trying to impart HOW to shift the focus in dealing with this challenge.

 

To keep it simple, let me just say that, generally speaking, for many of these people, the challenge does not lie in having to live with their physical endowments, but instead the REAL challenge lies in learning to EMBRACE their masculinity in spite of their feelings of inferiority because of what they perceive to be their shortfalls as a man.

This is exactly the same as when we say that it is easy to be a paper warrior, in that it is EASY to be a warrior when one is not having to face real challenges. Likewise is it easy to be a paper male when you have the perfect male body, and when you are not being CHALLENGED in terms of your belief in your masculinity!

 

In this respect, have a good look around, and see how very BADLY men in general are faring in terms of claiming their power as males. Those men who have all the attributes of what is considered the good male body are all too often WEAK and INEFFECTUAL, and also all too often make quite the WORST lovers, husbands and providers! Because they think that they already have it all they see no real NEED to rise above the purely physical. In short, they THINK they ARE their bodies, and because their bodies are near perfect they consider themselves to be near perfect males, if not God's gift to humanity!

 

On the other hand, with where cosmetic surgery has got to today, those men who feel inferior because they do not have the perfect physical body, and who have the necessary financial resources to do so, are very busy running away from this challenge by simply going for cosmetic surgery, instead of FACING the challenge. But this is why it takes a very big man to admit to, and to take OWNERSHIP of his deepest fears concerning his masculinity!

 

So what is needed is to shift the focus from seeing this challenge as being a HANDICAP to seeing it for the GIFT of power that it is. The warrior’s approach is to EMBRACE this gift, and in doing so, to use the challenge to learn fully about the true nature of masculinity, as opposed to your current perception of what a man should be.

 

What causes premature ejaculation, and how can one overcome it?

 

There are several reasons for premature ejaculation, but by far the most common cause is FEAR of inadequacy. The way in which this works is that when you become aroused there is already a deep fear that you will NOT be able to perform adequately as a male. As a result you subconsciously become FIXATED on the goal of having to fertilise the female!

 

That FIXATION, which the male subconsciously perceives as being the ultimate test of his masculinity, coupled with the FEAR of failure, causes the physical brain to CO-OPERATE in the most help-full or supportive way it knows how, by ENSURING that the physical body delivers upon the perceived COMMAND or goal which is being held in focus within the mind! The result is premature ejaculation.

 

Premature ejaculation is automatically cured as you begin to change your MIND-SET with respect to maleness. In other words, as you learn to shift the focus from performing PHYSICALLY to simply GIVING love, warmth, and above all, giving OF YOURSELF as a male, the whole process from beginning to end will normalise, if I may say it in this way.

 

 

What causes a man to fail at achieving a sexual orgasm?

 

Not being able to reach a sexual climax is generally the same process involved as in premature ejaculation, but in REVERSE. In this case your FEAR of ejaculating prematurely, coupled with the DEEP DESIRE to perform successfully, sends a mixed signal to the physical brain, the result of which is that the whole of the nervous system goes into a state of NON-RESPONSIVENESS which, of course, YOU register. But as you register this it inspires in you the FEAR of failure which then slowly begins to take over, until finally you lose your erection as a result.

 

 

I realise now that I must stop demanding from my husband the type of warmth and love that fits my view of the world. I should just leave him to express his own heart in whichever way he feels is right for him to do.

 

Love and warmth cannot be demanded, irrespective of HOW you think about it! We can command respect, we can command attention, we can command power, but we can never command love and warmth. We either feel warmth towards another person or we don't!

 

Love?

 

Love is the RESULT of a true openness of the heart! Until the heart is open there is no REAL love, other than what may be called STRONG FEELINGS FOR! Furthermore, even WITH an open heart it still takes time to LEARN to love another person, for the simple reason that love is UNCONDITIONAL.

 

Therefore to feel warmth towards someone is one thing, to have strong feelings for that person is a step towards love, but to love someone takes a great deal of hard work on the self before this becomes even vaguely possible! So how then can one demand love, or even warmth, for that matter?

 

 

 

 

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